Toothy Vampire Cupcakes

 

Please don’t click away! I know what you’re thinking.

Vampires? Ugh, really?! They’re so trendy. Of course she’s going to do a post about vampires. Next she’s going to proclaim she’s Team Edward and wants to have his babies and blah blah blah. And here I thought I could relate to this cyber stranger! Psh.

Don’t think that. I want you to love me and relate to me. We’re not cyber strangers; we’re friends, you and I. And friends don’t let friends take trends too far, including the vampire trend.

Since Twilight came out, people have been on a serious vampire/werewolf binge. There are shirts with Team Edward or Team Jacob for sale. Clothes Bella wore for sale, advertising that for one scene, she was totally wearing this jacket! And have you walked down the young adult book aisle lately? ALL vampire books. Or werewolf books. Or witch books. Who would have thought these mythical creatures would become so trendy?!

I mean, hell, Bram Stoker was the original Stephanie Meyer–and I’m sorry to any lit buffs out there for even comparing the two.

Dracula’s clearly the original gangsta here.

And I don’t think people were getting all cozy and cuddly up to vamps back in 1897 when it was originally released.

I doubt there was Dracula merchandise at your local market. They probably didn’t have Dracula key chains or bumper stickers… and not just because things like key chains and bumpers didn’t exist, either. It was probably because NO ONE CARED THAT MUCH. Same should hold true today, in my opinion.

Most things, including vampires, werewolves, elves, and witches, are good in moderation. Sprinkle a little witchery into a movie and I’ll still watch it. Throw in a vampire story-line and I may waggle my eyebrows and judge you for being slightly nerdy, but I’ll probably read it… as long as it doesn’t involve necrophilia or bestiality, such as Twilight…then I’ll probably think you’re a psychopath.

Vampires, werewolves, and insert-your-own-mythical-creature(s) are like flip flops: they’re okay in certain situations but should not be worn out all the time. You can’t write every story involving some mythical creature love triangle, just like you can’t wear a painfully adorable outfit and accent it with hideous, scum-of-the-world-of-shoes-flip flops. It just can’t happen like that. People do judge you. Some very harshly, like myself.

So keep your vampires on the low-down, okay?

Unless it pertains to Halloween. In which case, all of the above mythical creatures are okay since now’s the time to dress up and get all your Edward/Jacob feelings out of the way by begging your boyfriend to wear some uncomfortable fake fangs for the night and instruct him to call you by the name ‘Bella’.

(Don’t be surprised if he dumps you shortly thereafter)

I originally made these cupcakes last year for Halloween, before I decided to be cool and make myself a baking blog to showcase them. They won over my friends and family on Facebook, so of course I had to bring them back to show my loyal readers here!

And guess what? They’re super, ridiculously, almost painfully easy to make. I swear.

All you need is:

24 baked and cooled cupcakes (I used red velvet because of the blood… you know)
2 cans vanilla frosting or your own vanilla buttercream frosting (enough to frost 24 cupcakes)
Wilton food coloring gel in Purple
1 tube black piping frosting or sparkle gel
48 mini chocolate chips
48 mini yogurt chips
**If using a black tube of frosting, attach with a small, round tip, such as Atecco 6. Otherwise, the sparkle gel tube is already equipped with a small, round tip, perfect for piping**

1. Start by tinting your frosting with the purple food gel. Scrape out all your canned frosting into a large bowl, and add a butter knife tip’s worth of food coloring and swirl it into the frosting, tinting it a just-a-shade-darker-than-lavender-purple color. It should not be too dark or too bright; err on the pastel-y side, if possible. Once your shade is achieved, spread frosting over cupcakes as neatly as possible to create a smooth, purple surface.
2. Next, carefully invert a mini chocolate chip and gently press into the icing for an eye, towards the upper middle of the cupcake. Repeat for the other eye.
3. Using your black frosting tube/sparkle gel, make a small upwards arc, like a smile, just below the eyes. Use your sparkle gel to also create hair for your vampire, making a small point in the center of its forehead (in between its eyes) for that traditional vampirical ‘do.
4. Lastly, carefully place your mini yogurt chips just below the smile line to create fangs, and gently press them into the frosting to adhere. Use your most pointiest chips! Store these airtight.

I know vampires are supposed to be oogy and scary because of the whole blood-sucking thing, but aren’t these just adorable? Hardly the creepy creatures we should be frightened of.

And I suppose if you wanted to go all out and make them true to Stephanie Meyer’s creation, you should sprinkle them with some edible purple disco dust, just ’cause. But that’s only if you’re feeling particularly trendy, of course.

Stay tuned for more awesome treats (both Halloween and fall-related) on the way this week!

xo, Hayley

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